Absense Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I've been absent.

I'm not only talking about from social media and this blog. I've been absent from myself, trying to fit myself into a mold that wasn't meant for me. Into a life that's a little too tight around the collar.

I'm a stubborn person. I think most people kind of are. So when that little voice deep inside started telling me I was traveling down the wrong life-path so many years ago, I ignored it at first. After a while, I started listening, but by that point I'd invested so much in this new path that I wasn't about to change course without seeing it through. So what if the destination wasn't something I truly wanted?

I knew I was going the wrong way and keep trekking onward.

See? Stubborn.

The first step back to "me" was taken almost two years ago. I'd decided to finally write a book -- finally achieve one of my "someday" goals. I needed to do something for myself, because it had become painfully clear that I wasn't me anymore. Gathering Water is a story about a girl discovering herself, and writing it was a desperate attempt to find myself again, after so long.

It didn't work overnight. I didn't wake up one day, look around, and see my life exactly how I wanted it to look. In fact, it's still not that way. My life is... chaos. It's harder than it's ever been. Grownupping is agonizingly difficult sometimes (can I get an Amen?). But finally, I feel like I'm traveling the right way. Writing my first book started that journey, and it's one I'm still on and will be on for a while. Like I said, I've known I was on the wrong path for a while. But I'm finally doing something about it.

Part of this whole "doing something" that I'm talking about is jumping in. Jumping into my career and having a rewarding life. Jumping into becoming a "real girl" that my daughters can look up to instead of a puppet-person dreaming of a blue fairy coming to rescue them.

I'll be my own Blue Fairy, thank you very much.

The point of this post? I'm not sure, other than to let you know you'll be seeing a lot more of me from now on. No more half assing in my life. We'll call it my #UtopiaConResolution, which you know about if you're one of the amazing people who were in Nashville for this incredible con this June. Basically, this year I'm trying, and I thought that you should know. ;)

Go Home Muse, You're Drunk

Ah, wife work.

It's Tuesday morning, and I wake up from the most incredibly vivid dream. I start my daily routine (make coffee, iron, feed the kiddos), and my brain just won't stop thinking about it. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that it had the beginnings of a really interesting story idea.

SO as soon as I have a moment, I pull out a notebook and pen and start jotting down notes, needing to get it on paper before it leaves my head forever. But the notes turn into a weird rough outline, and my outlines ALWAYS turn into actual writing. When it's time to get my oldest ready for school, I'm reluctant to leave my spot on the couch where I'm surrounded by scrawled-on paper... but I have to. I'm distracted though, itching to get more thoughts down. When I finally get her out the door (basically pushing her into her grandfathers hands, since he is her morning chauffeur), I toss a bottle in the general direction of the baby and run to my computer and write.

And write.

I look a little like this... but a little crazier.
and not a man.

I'm a maniac. Gleefully typing away, and only coming up for air when mine or the babies bodily functions require it. Before I know it, it's three o'clock and my oldest is back from school. I look down at the computer and realize I've spent the entire day at my computer, and had written a whopping (for me) amount of words for the day.

That night I took my notebook to bed with me, the only compromise I could come up with since I desperately needed both SLEEP and more writing time (to be fair, I always desperately need more sleep). Wednesday morning I pumped out another complete chapter no problem, and yesterday took a fair amount of notes (I was too afraid if I sat down to type that I wouldn't get back up again)...

My muse has FINALLY settled enough so that I'm not constantly thinking about it. Which is good, because a little Ms. Anise needs to have her story written asap. Plus the whole Gathering Water book 2 thing.

... Not this type of fantasy.

What does this mean for you? Nothing really, other sometime in the (probably distant) future you'll be getting a story that is completely outside my current preferred genre of YA. Because this is not YA, at all. Or NA....  Strictly adult fantasy.

The point of this blog entry??? Um... I'm not sure. But, I can now officially consider myself an artist, since an idea for a book came from a dream. Haha. I'm one of 'those people' now. I HATE 'those people'. 

I'm joking, of course.

Also... no children were harmed, or ignored, while I was writing. For reals. 

What's next?

Okay, so this last saturday I officially became an Author... well, I published my first book at least.

You can get it on Amazon.com by clicking here.It's only $2.99. Yes, that's cheaper than your favorite coffee!!! If you're an Amazon Prime member, and have a Kindle device, then you can also borrow it for FREE.

But that's not what this blog post is about. Not really at least. I'm really letting the world know what other projects I have in the works... You know, if I tell people about them, then I HAVE to finish them, right?

I just started a short story earlier this week. It's based in the same world as Gathering Water, but centers around Della's (Gathering Water's protagonist) grandmother. It's a little more romance than fantasy, and borders a little more on the NA side of the genre. If you've read Della's book already, then you know about Anise through the journal entries, and this will be her story. One of young love, and heartbreak, and how that can change a person. I'm hoping to release it by late April, and it will be FREE. I have several other short story/novella ideas based in this world, so this will be the first of MANY.

Of course, I have book 2 in the Gathering Water series. Release will be this upcoming Fall if everything goes a planned, and will deal with Della's discovery at the end of Gathering Water. We'll find out more about the Elfennol world, what the Clades are really all about (are they really evil, or just a darker shade of gray?) and Della's place in it all. Working title is Tempering Earth... but don't hold me to that. Haha.

There's also this project that I am IN LOVE with. I was working on it before Della started screaming in my head for attention. It's more adult fantasy, and each book in the series will be a VERY loose portrayal of a fairy tale. Because I love me some fairy tales. I have NO IDEA when it will be finished, or released, since the Gathering Water series will trump anything new until book 3 is out.

Stay tuned for updates... I'll be posting about a GIVEAWAY tomorrow, so be sure to check in an enter!!!

Why I Write What I Write

A little over a week ago I published my first novel, Gathering Water. Since then, I've been... amazed by the great feedback I've gotten for it. Of course I love my book, and I love my characters... but to have other people love them too? People that don't know me to love what I write, well, it gives me a very warm and tingly feeling.

I wanted to tell you a little about why I chose this genre (as much as any author chooses what to write, at least). I have two daughters. Funny, crazy, brilliant daughters. I want them to read, want them to love the written word as much as I do. I want them to be influenced by the words they read, to find meaning in books, find glimpses of other worlds.

One day, I took a look around at this YA genre that has been going crazy on my Kindle the last several years, and I didn't like what I saw. There were too many "Bella's" and not enough "Hermione's". That is, the heroines in the stories weren't the type that I wanted my daughters to emulate. There weren't enough role models. While I'm THRILLED that so many young women find solace in books these days, I'm worried about this generation that has grown up reading about irresponsible, codependent, unhealthy people... Yes, it's fiction, and no I don't expect fictional characters to be perfect OR perfectly realistic. I'm also not going to say it's wrong to write about "instant-love"...

But...

Life imitates art... I believe that. Really, I do. So, instead of furthering antiquated stereotypes about the over-protective boyfriend saving the naive and incapable girl, I wanted to write a story where the girl is the hero. Not the 'heroine'... the hero. Someone who, while taking help from those around her, is still self sufficient. Someone who is still growing, and might make some mistakes but learns from them. Someone who has been dealt a really crappy hand in life, but doesn't let that define her.

A coming of age story. That's what my book is, first and foremost. Yes, there is a paranormal aspect (yeah, a big one). There's even a little romance thrown in. But my story is really about a broken girl discovering herself; discovering her path, her destiny. Everything else I consider a subplot (even if I'm the only one that does).

I'm going to step off my little soap-box now,

If you haven't yet, go read my book (you can click this LINK). If you have Amazon Prime, and a Kindle device, you can borrow it FOR FREE for the next few months.

Later this week I'll let you know about what I'm working on, so be sure to check back in here!

Gathering Water... COVER REVEAL!!!

So, there it is. The cover for my upcoming book, Gathering Water. Props go to Bruce Gore of Gore Studios (Check out the interview I did with him HERE). Didn't he do a fabulous job?

My first book, a YA Fantasy, will be available at Amazon.com on February 1st. Keep reading for the synopsis, in case you missed my previous post about it! Also, go add Gathering Water to your 'want to read' shelf on Goodreads (here)!

There are plenty of things I could tell you about my life; plenty of things happened during my years in an inept foster care system. But my real story—when my life really began—started on the day I turned eighteen.

It was the day I discovered who I was. I learned my real name, my dead mother’s identity, and where we come from. These simple things prompted me to pack my meager belongings, hop on a plane, and come home to the dilapidated house in North Carolina that belonged to the mother I never knew.

Even though I have a home and a family for the first time, my thoughts are still burning with unanswered questions. Like why did my mother run away? Why the heck has my skin started to tingle every time it touches the water? And who—or what—is my father really? Because it definitely isn’t human--

And if all that weren’t enough, there’s this guy, Dove. Yeah, he might be a distraction from my true purpose, but when he offers a healing hand to sooth the damage from my past, I’m helpless to resist.

All I ever wanted was to know who I am, but my journey to self-discovery might just lead to the destruction of mankind.

My name is Della Doe Deare and this, well, this is my story.

Gathering Water, a synopsis!

Without further ado, the synopsis for Gathering Water:

There are plenty of things I could tell you about my life; plenty of things happened during my years in an inept foster care system. But my real story—when my life really began—started on the day I turned eighteen.

It was the day I discovered who I was. I learned my real name, my dead mother’s identity, and where we come from. These simple things prompted me to pack my meager belongings, hop on a plane, and come home to the dilapidated house in North Carolina that belonged to the mother I never knew.

Even though I have a home and a family for the first time, my thoughts are still burning with unanswered questions. Like why did my mother run away? Why the heck has my skin started to tingle every time it touches the water? And who—or what—is my father really? Because it definitely isn’t human--

And if all that weren’t enough, there’s this guy, Dove. Yeah, he might be a distraction from my true purpose, but when he offers a healing hand to sooth the damage from my past, I’m helpless to resist.

All I ever wanted was to know who I am, but my journey to self-discovery might just lead to the destruction of mankind.

My name is Della Doe Deare and this, well, this is my story.

Stay tuned for more updates about my upcoming book... Also the regular stuff, like reviews and interviews, will likely be showing up again. So, watch out!

Why it's been so long.

Well, it's been A WHILE since my last post, but that doesn't mean I haven't been busy writing.

Actually, it means I have been VERY busy writing. Writing what, you say? Oh, just a book. Yes, last week I finished the rough draft of my first (wink wink) novel. Since I am WAY too impatient to go through the ordeal of finding an agent and publishing house to pick me up, I will most likely be joining the ranks of Indie Authors in early February, which also means I have a lot of work left ahead of me. Ah, work.


I've been interested in writing since I was a child, and honestly it's been the only career choice that I've ever been interested in for more than a year or two... among the discarded 'what I want to be when I grow up' are: Park Ranger, Cafe owner, and High School Teacher. No, none of those random career paths have ANYTHING in common, other than they piqued my interest for a season or two, and it's not as if I actually did any of that. Well, I worked as a barista for a few years, but that was mostly to support my love of coffee.

 I still think I would totally rock one of those beige Park Ranger outfits... Well, probably not.

I think we can all agree that THIS
would be the best job ever.

But writing has always been, and even still is a little, something to dream about doing. Not something that I could actually do. That's like wanting to eat cake for a living, just way too awesome to be a real option. With the arrival of my second daughter this past year, and my new status as Stay At Home Mother, a job that I genuinely never imagined for myself but  just as genuinely love doing, I finally had the motivation write. Not the time, mind you. There is always something that I should be doing instead of writing. Dishes to wash, clothes to fold, beds to make, clothes to fold... My tombstone should read 'she did laundry'.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, motivated to write. My motivation? Well, as cheesy as it sounds, my motivation is to be a better role model for my daughters. Here I am, 26 yrs old, 2 kids, a college dropout and with no 'real' career options. I've accomplished little, and the only reason for that is... there's been no reason. How can I expect my daughters, who will have to overcome far more in life than I did, to follow their dreams if I'm too chicken to follow my own? I want to teach them perseverance and bravery. I want to teach them how to be better women than I will ever be. You know, because children are our future and whatnot.

So, I wrote a book and in a few weeks (6?) you'll get a chance to read it! Of course, the very thought is terrifying. Like, 'omigawd what am I thinking' kind of terrifying. But, I have to do this. I have to follow through, keep writing, and keep my fingers crossed that I don't suck at my lifelong dream. That people will buy my book and like it.

If you write it, they will come... that's how the saying goes, right? Right? No?

See? They came!

Later this week, I'll post up my synopsis so you can all get an idea of what my first novel is about. In the meantime, you can just comfort yourself with the super awesome title, which is....

GATHERING WATER

About me, and about this blog

Books have been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. Some of my strongest childhood memories are of story-time before bed. It was a special time; my mom, as a single parent, worked long hours and it was guaranteed quality time for us. Most of you probably have similar memories of bedtime stories: excitedly picking out the night's book, having mom or dad sit in bed next to you with the book propped open, pointing to all the different pictures, and of course, asking over and over for one more page (or chapter, or book) before finally dropping off to sleep. As soon as I was able to, there was a role reversal in our household and it became my responsibility to read the night's tale to my mom. Every night I would proudly stammer my way through my Seuss collection; I felt cool when I'd brag to my friends about how I got to read the bedtime story. 


It wasn't until I was a little older that I understood the real reason my mom made me read at night. My mom is dyslexic. After a 12 hour work day, reading anything was hard work for her, not to mention reading aloud. It wasn't just that she wanted me to read because she didn't want to anymore; she wanted me to master a skill that would always be difficult for her; wanted me to really love the written word in ways that she just can't. Don't get me wrong, my mom likes to read, but for her it's not the relaxing pastime it is for so many; for my mom, and many others with this disorder, it takes conscience effort to translate all those letters into words, words into sentences, and sentences into something that makes sense. So, earlier than most, I learned to appreciate reading. I viewed each book I read as a gift. I read a lot, and enjoyed doing so. 


I was age 10 or 11 when I really started to love reading. I was a weird kid and as an only child I spent a lot of time around adults that spoke to me as an adult, cousins that I annoyed the heck out of, or other only-children who were equally strange and lacking in social skills. When we moved away to another state, going from coastal VA to Nashville, I went from kinda weird kid who hangs with other weird kids but is kind of tolerable to really strange new girl who talks kinda funny and acts kinda different, and of course this is right in time for middle school. The few friends I did make (very good friends, I might add) were in different schools or classes and I was lonely. Well, I was lonely until my wonderful aunt gave me something that changed my life. She gave me a book, and not just any book either; she gave me Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire. Since I already liked reading, and there was nothing else for me to do, I read it. Then I read the next book in the series, then the next and so on. Most of the books I'd read before had come from the school library and reading her work was an eyeopening experience. I didn't know books could be so beautiful, that authors could create worlds so real you feel you've been there and characters you feel you've known your whole life. I had never seen the English language to powerfully used and I came to view writing as the art it truly is.  Reading became a passion an addiction for me, and my books became my friends. They were friends that took me to different places, times, and worlds where everything was possible. They made me laugh, cry, and fall in love.They kept me company, and they kept me sane, letting me escape the world that my tween self felt so alone in, their worlds becoming more real than my own. 


Eventually I got a little less awkward and made actual human friends, a group of people who thought my social ineptitude was quirky and fun. I started writing a little, encouraged by a couple teachers who recognized my wild imagination as a blessing rather than an annoyance, though I have yet to finish any of the multitude of stories that I have started. Now I can say real life has made me laugh, and cry, and fall in love. I still read, in fact books have been my one constant interest in my rather flighty life. I love reading books and learning about the authors who wrote them. I'm always interested in articles that discuss literacy, or have book reviews, or questions the quality of today's writing. I'm passionate about fairy tales and fables and the lessons they provide, and about the evolution of folklore into New York Times  bestsellers. I'm always interested in movies based on books, often reading the book right before so I can do a better mental compare and contrast, which I usually end up doing in the theater out loud (much to the chagrin of my husband).


And you know what?
I'm not the only one. 


What better way to succumb to my obsession than to start a blog about it? A blog that other people like me can come to and, hopefully, enjoy. I won't just be writing book review after book review like so many other blogs (not that there is anything wrong with that; I really like some of those blogs!). I want to tell you about my favorite authors, books, and movies based on books; share my thoughts on childhood reading, the terrible role-models that are so prevalent in YA fiction, and anything else that I might find relevant or interesting. 


I want to create a new niche for others like me; people who have found solace on a printed page, made friends with imaginary people, and believed in impossible things while reading. A place where (courteous) debates and suggestions are welcome, and comments and conversations are encouraged. A place where no one is alone in their love of books and everything they entail.


So welcome, and enjoy.


Regan Claire